


guardian angel

by anothermistakemade



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Break Up, Clubbing, Drinking, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Partying, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, allison and neil being rich socialites, basically neil/allison/nicky/matt are a power squad, mentions of torture, there's going to be like... Angst angst later, this we've known, warnings subject to change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2019-10-05 22:58:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17333987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anothermistakemade/pseuds/anothermistakemade
Summary: Neil knows that, at some point, he has to make a friend other than Andrew. Neil knows that Allison is a very strange person to start with. However, she seems to know all there is to know about New York, and Neil needs someone to show him around. Once Nicky and Matt show up, the true dramatic lifestyles of a group of twentysomething Foxes begins to unfold.// basically, Neil/Allison/Nicky/Matt are the Most powerful squad there is. they leap around new york getting drunk, clubbing and forgetting about their own issues along the way





	1. allison.

**Author's Note:**

> me, beginning another story that i quite possibly might not finish? surprising.
> 
> as always, i love and appreciate feedback, so please please leave a kudos or comment if you want another chapter!! seeing you guys respond positively to my work is my number one motivator to actually write. check out my one (1) other aftg work!
> 
> also, a disclaimer: i think neil's drinking might come off as ooc to some, and i'm trying to explain it the best i can. if you feel like i'm writing neil ooc, don't be afraid to let me know!! we love some good constructive criticism

It was coincidence that Allison and Neil end up in the same city. She was in New York getting her fashion line started, and Neil was there to play for the New York Pirates. Technically, Allison was there first, but Neil's signing to the Pirates had little to nothing to do with her. It had pretty much everything to do with Andrew's being on the Boston Rebels and his proximity. After two years of being across the country from one another, Neil finally had the opportunity to be a three and a half hour drive away. Andrew came up almost every weekend, and they both tried to make it to each other's games when possible. Ultimately, Neil had completely forgotten that Allison lived no less than ten minutes from him.

Forbes released their list of the highest-paid athletes in December. Andrew was ridiculously high on the list-- within the top five. Kevin ranked just a few spots lower, and Neil himself barely made it on the list. Matt, who had taken one (1) economics class for his business major, explained it all to Neil via text.

 _bigboyd: between the dozens of countries that have pro exy leagues and all the levels with pro and court and whatever, there's like_ hundreds _of options for an exy player, right_

_bigboyd: so exy players make the big bucks. bc if you dont like how much youre being paid youll just switch to another team thatll pay you more. im 89% sure andrew just picked the team that would pay him the most, which is why hes highest on the list. everybody wanted to sign him so they just kept upping each others offers_

_bigboyd: kevin had some restrictions bc hes so obsessed with team loyalty so he likes to stay in the same area. youre the lowest bc andrew was already signed to the rebels so you just went wherever youd be close to him, right_

_bigboyd: location over money = less money 4 u. do better next time_

_neil.ajosten: youre not even_ on _the list_

So, of course, it was the Forbes article that prompted Allison to text Neil.

_AJR.Design: i heard ur goth bf has fat stacks_

_AJR.Design: make him buy u stuff_

It was the first time that Neil had heard from Allison since their annual Fourth of July team get-together. There was always some sort of weird resentment between them, whether it be based on their opposing views on Seth or something else, Neil didn't know. Ever since Allison started dating Renee a year and a half ago, they'd become more cordial, but they'd lost years of quality time from when they were on the same team. 

Neil texted her back, mentioning how he was on the list, too, and could buy his own stuff. It was meant to be less defensive and more humorous, or maybe it was supposed to be just plain old bragging. Neil never cared about material items-- he only cared about what he needed to survive-- but Allison's infatuation with wealth influenced him from time to time.

_AJR.Design: ugh its like u dont even understand the point of a sugar daddy_

_AJR.Design: if u have so much cash y dont u treat me 2 lunch 2morro_

Neil didn't have many friends in New York. Correction, he didn't have  _any_ friends in New York. His teammates were all nice enough, but they always felt like a weird clique that Neil couldn't get into. He didn't mind, going out for drinks immediately after an incredibly and sweaty stressful game wasn't exactly something he was longing to do. Andrew came up on the weekends, and that was enough socialization for Neil.

Except, Andrew couldn't come that weekend. His team had an away game in Dallas, and they wouldn't be getting back until Sunday morning. It was the first time this had happened, it being the beginning of the season, and Neil couldn't imagine not seeing Andrew for the weekend. He dragged himself through the week with his only motivation (besides, of course, the typical 'domination on the court' motivation) being Andrew's arrival on Friday. Neil struggled to make it through the week, and he couldn't think of anything he would do that weekend. Everything he did, he did with Andrew. It felt silly to go sightseeing or shopping alone.

_AJMinyard: leaving for the airport. dont spend the entire weekend in your apartment, junkie._

Though he would later deny it, Andrew's text was the sole reason that Neil agreed to lunch with Allison. She sent him the location of a restaurant, then:

_AJR.Design: u dont actually hav 2 pay. i hav more $$ than u_

*

The restaurant Allison chose was ridiculously fancy. Neil felt grossly underdressed in jeans, as other patrons wore suit jackets and dresses. Allison herself was in a dress from her own collection, an emerald green, velvet number with spaghetti straps, falling just above her knees. She had paired it with a few pieces of diamond jewelry. Overall, she looked like she was practically dripping money, so nothing had changed since college. Neil had only browsed through Allison's line once before, and all of it was designed and priced for the filthy rich. Of course, nothing less could be expected of Allison, and her brand's wild success must have meant something. Even if her parents bought her a building, she had pioneered the company inside of it and forged her own success. She was a different kind of rich than she had been in college: before, she was spending what she could mooch off of her parents. Now, she was spending what she rightfully earned for herself. Though he disagreed with her materialism, Neil respected Allison's entrepreneurship. 

When Neil entered the restaurant, Allison was talking and laughing with one of the hostesses. Her dress, as well as her blonde hair, helped her to stick out against the beiges and maroons and browns of the other patrons. There was no doubt that those people were any less rich than Allison, but their clear lack of originality and bravery in fashion made them blend in to Neil, and he didn't even give a shit about fashion at all. Furthermore, all of the other patrons looked absolutely miserable, while Allison was beaming as she spoke with the hostess.

"Neil, hi," Allison noticed Neil over the hostess' shoulder and waved for him to come closer. "Renee wanted to come, but she had to leave early this morning for Ethiopia. She says hello."

"Tell her I say hello back," Neil could've just texted Renee, but he figured the whole '________ says hi' was a politeness thing. 

As the hostess led them to their table, Allison jittered about how this was the best restaurant in New York. It was surely the nicest restaurant that Neil had ever been in: each table was draped in a pristine white tablecloth with a floral centerpiece, and a massive chandelier hung from the ceiling. It was right up Allison's alley. She spoke of how she had once brought Renee there, for one of their first dates, and how Renee stared in awe at the chandelier for a full minute. She apparently stared in awe at the check for even longer.

They settled into the table the hostess sat them at, then ordered their drinks.

"So," Allison was clearly trying to combat the threat of awkward silence. "How are things? How's Andrew?"

"He's fine," Neil hated small talk. If that was what Allison had come to do, Neil was going to regret agreeing to meet her. He didn't care about how Allison was or how her day had been, and it was a waste of time to pretend that he did.

"Did you hear Nicky's coming next week?" This Neil had heard. Over the phone. Daily. For hours. Every single time Nicky called. 

"He goes on and on about it every time he calls," Allison rolled her eyes in a way that told Neil she had been experiencing the same thing.

"Well," Allison looked from side to side as if she were about to let Neil in on a secret, "I heard him and Erik are on the outs."

Neil's knee jerk reaction was to doubt it-- Nicky and Erik were literally perfect for one another, and Neil hadn't heard of them fighting once, ever. However, Neil also knew that Allison was the queen of drama and knew everything about everyone. Nobody knew precisely who her sources were, but she allegedly had a way of getting as much information as she wanted out of a drunk person. She claimed everything she said was true, that she was delivering facts, not gossip. Of course, Neil doubted that, but he had never really cared enough to be bothered. The mention of Nicky had piqued his interest.  


"Apparently," Allison paused as the waitress set their drinks on the table (they'd both ordered sparkling water), "Erik really wants kids and Nicky is totally buckling down on not having any. So they had this big huge fight, blah blah blah, and now Nicky is coming to the U.S. to visit," She put obnoxious air quotes around the word 'visit'. Neil sincerely doubted that Nicky was coming to stay, but he also wasn't surprised that he wanted to be around his family.

"I mean," Neil didn't like succumbing to drama, but he couldn't help but feel the need to but in his opinion, "it's obvious why Nicky doesn't want kids. Look at his parents."

" _I know!_ " Allison exclaimed, nodding slowly. "And, like, why isn't Erik being more understanding of that?"

"And Nicky definitely told him before they got married that he didn't want kids." 

"Oh, definitely. They both have different expectations for what raising a kid is going to be like. Until they can understand each other's childhoods--"

"--they'll never be able to agree."

Allison smiled. "Exactly, Josten."

The remainder of their lunch was spent discussing the team drama. Allison would bring up a topic, Neil would put in his opinion, and they'd inevitably agree entirely.

"Did you hear about Matt and Dan?" Allison asked as she cut her steak. 

"Nope," A lie. Neil had heard the story in extreme detail from Matt, but he wanted to hear Allison tell it.

"So they're on this break, right? Because Matt's come out as bi, and since he and Dan dated all throughout college, he feels, like, robbed of some grand sexual experience, or whatever. And Dan agreed to it!  _And_ ," Allison dropped a piece of steak into her mouth, chewed slowly for dramatic effect, then continued. "She texted me last week to ask about fingering a chick. So  _that's_  happening."

"They're getting back together, though, right?" Neil asked as if Allison knew for sure. Over the phone, Matt had gushed about how much he loved Dan and how he knew that they were going to come back to one another. To be honest, Neil wasn't sure if he could deal with them breaking up forever. 

"Oh, definitely, for sure," Allison nodded. "Matt's just dick-starved. I heard he slept with  _Kevin_."

Neil rolled his eyes. "Kevin sleeps with everyone."

"Well, right, of course. But like... Kevin."

Now it was Neil's turn to reveal top-secret information. "I heard Kevin slept with Jeremy Knox a few years ago."

Allison's jaw dropped. "No. Fucking. Way."

Neil smirked and nodded. "Absolutely. Before he met Jean, obviously."

"Well, yeah," Allison then gasped, her eyes wide. " _Wait_. Is _that_ why him and Thea are getting divorced?"

Kevin's divorce had been an extremely hot topic among both the team and the Exy community. He and Thea had only been married two years, and had an 18 month old daughter. Kevin absolutely refused to say a word about it, other than that he and Thea were separated and seeing other people. Thea spoke to the press about it once or twice, only to say that she respected Kevin's wish for privacy and asked that people respect their daughter, Amalia. Even his teammates couldn't get a word out of him, and it wasn't easy considering he'd signed with the Dublin Celtics and didn't like paying extra for phone service. 

"I have no idea why they're getting divorced," Neil shrugged. "He won't say a word about it to anyone." Neil had his theories, but he hadn't been around Kevin and Thea enough to know for sure. He'd seen them together at the wedding, then again when Amalia was born, and a few times following that at team gatherings. Whenever Kevin came to visit, he never brought Thea. Whenever Andrew and Neil went to see Kevin, Thea wasn't around too much. Whatever was going on Kevin kept under lock and key for the sake of public image. He hardly ever revealed much to the press before he was a father, and he completely shut his mouth once he became one.

Allison hummed, seemingly bored with the subject now that there was no new information to be shared. "So, Andrew's playing in Texas tonight, right?"

"Yup. The Dallas Mavericks." The Mavericks had been knocked out of the playoffs by the Rebels the year prior, and the rematch was supposed to be one of the biggest games of the season. Predictably, Andrew didn't give a shit, while Neil was bursting with excitement.

"Do you want to have a little viewing party? We could eat those little tortilla chips that are shaped like bowls and yell really loud at the television." It sounded alarmingly like a game night with Kevin, especially when the Trojans were playing.

Neil considered it for a moment. He watched most of Andrew's games on his laptop from the comfort of his bed while making his way through a tub of Andrew's favorite ice cream, but spending the night with Allison didn't seem so bad. "Sure, why not?"

*

_@r.smith.mavs: @aj.minyard is a complete pussy, me & @a.kims.mavs are scoring on him 13 times tonight_

_@a.kims.mavs: @r.smith.mavs @aj.minyard Bet._

_@aj.minyard: 2_

Andrew was infamous on his team for 'losing' jerseys, but it was really just Neil taking them every chance he got. The Rebels were black and silver, a color combination that Neil was fond of, so he slowly began collecting Minyard jerseys. So far, he had two. They were black on silver for away games, but goalkeepers always wore the opposite jersey, so Neil threw on the silver on black jersey and left for Allison's.

Allison had texted him the address of her loft, which was next to the headquarters for AJR Design. It was in a considerably nicer part of town than Neil's tiny apartment, but Neil wasn't exactly into apartment hunting and picked the first thing his agent had shown him. The other issue was trying to operate the subways. The restaurant had been only a 20 minute walk from Neil's apartment, but Allison's loft required him to utilize public transportation. Neil only knew how to get to the Pirates practice space and back, as well as how to get on the train to Boston. He despised trains ever since he got separated from his mother on the London Underground and had to fend for himself overnight (alerting the authorities was, of course, out of the question-- they would've wanted his name and his mother's phone number). The fact that he still didn't quite know the layout of New York wasn't helpful. After getting turned around twice, Neil finally ended up on the correct train.

Allison's loft was on the top floor of a very tall building. He figured that her parents had bought it for her, as well as the building next door that was being used for her fashion line. He hadn't much idea of how successful Allison had been in fashion, but she had only been running for a couple of years.

Neil buzzed in, rode the elevator to the top, then knocked on the door of Allison's loft. She answered, wearing a 03 Rebels jersey with Minyard on the back. It fell to a few inches above her knees, and she seemed to not be wearing pants beneath it. Neil wondered for a moment if making your guests question if you were wearing pants was some sort of new trend.

"Welcome! Come in, come in."  


Allison's loft was three times the size of Neil's. It was a large, open space, with a stairwell in the corner that led up to an open bedroom. Everything from the walls to the furniture to the floors was either white or muted pink. Along a brick wall were a mannequin and a large silver rack, the latter holding dozens of garments. Floor to ceiling windows showed New York City at night, as buzzing and alive as it was in the day. 

Allison led Neil to the living area, where she'd set out numerous bottles of rosé. "I didn't have any of that gross, cheap beer than people drink at sports events," She explained, gesturing to the wine. "But I had like  _hundreds_ of dollars worth of bougee rosé from a party that never happened."

"I don't really drink," Neil replied, shrugging and sitting on the couch.

"Really?" Allison frowned. "I mean, obviously you didn't drink in college because your didn't want to tell us that your dad was a mass murderer or whatever, but like... still?"

"No," Neil hadn't thought much about how there wasn't much reason for him to abstain from drinking. Everyone he knew had discovered everything he was worried he would tell.

"What are you _like_ drunk?" Allison asked, unscrewing the cap to one of the bottles. "Who's your alter ego?"

"I've never been drunk."

Allison's jaw dropped. " _Neil!_ Okay, if Andrew wins tonight, will you have a glass?" Neil considered it. "C'mon, what's there to fear? No pressure, though."

She sort of had a point. There wasn't anything that Neil could tell her that she didn't already know. "Fine. If the Rebels win."

Allison beamed. "Awesome!" She poured herself a glass of wine and took a quick sip. "Now, have you seen the Twitter beef?" Neil shook his head. He wasn't quite sure what 'Twitter beef' entailed. "Ugh, okay, so the Mavs starting striker made this Tweet calling Andrew a pussy, unprompted, and then their other striker replied saying like 'bet' or something stupid, and then Andrew responds with the number two. Like what?"

"Oh," Neil knew exactly what Andrew was doing. "He's letting them score on him twice tonight. He does that sometimes, decides how many times he's going to let the other team score. Sometimes it's, like, 13."

"Damn."

The game got going, and immediately Andrew let Smith score. He didn't even try to block it, just let the ball woosh into the goal, then gave the camera a bored glance. He blocked one shot, then let Kims score the next one. This time, Andrew turned toward the camera and mouthed 'two'. He shut down the goal after that.

By the half, it was 9-2, Rebels' favor. The game was pretty much set (there's no coming back from a seven point tail in the pros), and Allison's giggling and gushing about Renee during commercial breaks made Neil feel at ease. On top of all that, the rosé was practically calling his name. Neil sighed, admitted that he wanted a glass, then patiently listened to Allison boast about how the wine was from southern France and the most expensive brand she'd ever bought. She picked up a glass and poured it about half full.

Here was the deal: Neil had never really drank before, and it was easy to forget how much one was drinking when one is preoccupied with screaming at the television. So, by the end of the third quarter, Neil had lost count of how many glasses he'd had, and he was beginning to feel very warm inside.

"Neil," Allison giggled (apparently, wine made her very, very giggly), "are you getting drunk off rosé?"

Neil figured that it wasn't culturally appropriate to down an entire glass of expensive wine in one gulp, but he did so, nonetheless. "I've  _literally_ never been drunk, Allison. Like actually never."

Allison giggled more. "Move to the bottle like a man."

And so Neil did. All throughout the final quarter, Neil chugged straight from the bottle, trying to keep upright as he yelled at the television. "Fucking idiot," He slurred over Allison's giggles. "You should've passed it, fucking dumbass. He's a fucking... fucking... oh my god, it's Andrew!" Neil immediately sat cross legged on the ground, gazing happily at Andrew's face on the television. The commentators were saying something about his impeccable ability to shut down a goal. Neil sighed contentedly, then got out his phone.

_neil.ajosten: andrwe_

_neil.ajosten: i loev yuo_

_neil.ajosten: anrdewwwwwww :(_

_neil.ajosten: iM drUkn_

_neil.ajosten: drnuk_

_neil.ajosten: DRUNK_

_neil.ajosten: i miss yuo :)))_

_neil.ajosten: FUKK NO_

_neil.ajosten: ***:((((((((_

_neil.ajosten: shotzee_

_neil.ajosten: skatzee_

_neil.ajosten: schotzyee_

_neil.ajosten: fuckign what iS IT_

_neil.ajosten: schazte_

_neil.ajosten: :(_

_neil.ajosten: (B >() not gucki_

_neil.ajosten: SCHATZI_

_neil.ajosten: ksisy emoji_

_neil.ajosten: where the fuck_

_neil.ajosten: 3 >_

_neil.ajosten: how doi you turN teh thREe aruond :\_

*

The next morning, Neil woke up on Allison's couch, his head aching and his phone vibrating.

"Hello?" He answered, his voice groggy from sleep.

"Neil. I'm in JFK. I'll be there within the hour." It was Andrew's voice, but it couldn't be. He wasn't supposed to be back until the next day.

"Andrew?" Neil sat up slowly, fighting nausea. "Why... why did you fly back early?" He tried to remember the events of the previous night, but his memory got hazy around the fourth quarter of the game.

"You drunk texted me 21 times last night."

Neil was silent for a moment. "Sorry." Andrew's forgiveness went unsaid, but Neil knew that he wasn't angry. "But why did you come back?"

"You got drunk alone in your apartment." Andrew deadpanned. "I assumed it was a desperate cry for help."

"No," Neil smiled at the thought of Andrew dropping everything and flying across the country because he thought Neil was lonely. "I'm actually..." Neil remembered where exactly he was, then mentally cussed for talking so loudly when Allison was asleep on the floor in front of him. "Hang on," He whispered to Andrew, before carefully stepping over Allison's body and going out onto her balcony. 

"Where the fuck are you, Neil?" Neil could hear the concern evident in Andrew's voice. He didn't really have New York friends, but getting drunk with strangers wasn't really his speed. Neil had no idea what Andrew was thinking.

"I'm at Allison's," Neil confessed. "She had me over last night for drinks and to watch your game. I guess I passed out here."

"Oh," There was a beat. "I'll pick you up from there." Andrew hung up.

When Neil went back inside, Allison was awake. "Good morning," She was unbelievably perky for having just woken up on the floor. "Do you want coffee?"

"Do you have tea?" Allison said yes, then went to her kitchenette. Neil noticed that both of them were still in their Minyard jerseys and wondered how Andrew would react to that once he got there. "Andrew's coming to pick me up, he'll be here in half an hour or something."

"Okay," Allison called from the kitchen. "How do you like your eggs?"

"Scrambled," Neil replied. He then began to straighten the cushions on the couch and gather up the rosé bottles. By the time he was finished, Allison was done cooking. 

There was something different about eating breakfast while hungover with Allison than eating lunch in an extremely fancy restaurant with her. The wine hangover, combined with the sleepiness, made the situation feel entirely too casual. Yet Neil felt that, weirdly, within the past 24 hours, he and Allison had grown to that point. It was like they had realized the potential friendship that they'd been ignoring for years and embraced it all at once. Neil wasn't complaining-- he needed a friend in New York, even if Allison's high-end lifestyle wasn't exactly his speed.

Neil and Allison were discussing Andrew's game when her phone began to buzz. "Fuck, it's Nicky," Allison exclaimed, dropping her fork and answering immediately. "Nicky, hi!" Neil wondered why Nicky would call Allison instead of literally anyone else. They weren't friends in college, and unless they had formed some bond that Neil didn't know about, they still weren't. "Nicky, slow down, I can't understand you," Neil couldn't hear what Nicky was saying, but it sounded like he was sobbing. "Nicky, you need to stop crying. I don't know what you're saying." Allison was quiet for a long time. "Okay. No, don't apologize. It's okay, really. I'll see you tonight." Allison hung up, then sighed.

"He's coming tonight?" Neil asked, having pieced together bits of the conversation.

"Yeah," Allison put her head in her hands. "Things apparently hit the fan with Erik, and he's currently running through the airport in Stuttgard, sobbing hysterically."

"Jesus," Neil hadn't heard from Nicky at all the day before, which was definitely out of the ordinary, but he hadn't questioned it. He resolved to text the man once he was back to his apartment, but then realized that Nicky would be on his ten hour flight by then.

Allison cleared their dishes, and Neil volunteered to wash them while she brought out the cot that Nicky would sleep on. Neil was dying to know why Nicky had chosen Allison of all people to stay with, but something kept him from asking. Even mentioning Nicky, knowing that he was bawling on a plane on another continent, felt insensitive. He was sure that he'd get all of the information once Nicky arrived.

"You don't have to talk to him if you don't want," Neil told Allison when there was a knock at the door. He had absolutely no idea if Allison and Andrew had spoken a word to each other since she graduated, or if they wanted to keep it that way.

"No, that's okay," Allison smiled, coming up behind Neil as he opened the door. "Andrew!" She spoke before Neil had the chance to. "Come in!"

"No," Andrew deadpanned, his expression vaguely angry. He glanced at her jersey, then narrowed his eyes. "Let's go, Neil."

"Okay," Neil very quickly caught on to Andrew's standoffish demeanor. He knew exactly why Andrew was behaving that way, but elected to wait until Allison was out of an earshot to address it.

"Bye Neil, text me later."

"Later, Allison."

Once they were at the end of the hallway, Neil paused. "Yes or no?" Neil waited for Andrew's yes, then stepped forward and hugged him. He had very lamely missed Andrew, as he did every week. "I know what you're thinking," Neil released Andrew, and they continued on to the elevator. "Allison didn't pressure me to do anything."

"You don't drink," Andrew replied simply. 

"She didn't make me. I chose to. It's... different now," Neil didn't really know where his urge to drink had come from, or how to explain it, but it certainly didn't come from any sort of peer pressure.

"Different how?"

"I don't know," Neil shrugged. "I don't have anything to hide from her anymore. If I get drunk and start talking about Nathaniel, which is what I was always afraid of, she won't hear anything she didn't already know."

Andrew took a moment to consider it. "I don't like her."

It was better than 'I'm going to kill her,' so Neil took it.


	2. nicky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone!! big big thanks to everyone who left kudos and comments on the last chapter, i love you all so much!!
> 
> i was expecting this to be a long chapter but i ended up cutting some stuff, so sorry for the wait!! i really wanted to get this chapter out soon which means i didn't proofread, of course, so if you find mistakes/typos please let me know!!

Neil spent the entire day with Andrew, catching up on some missed Andrew Time from the day before. Allison texted him shortly after he left to let him know that Nicky would be landing at around 8 P.M., and that he and Andrew were invited to come over. Neil knew that Andrew would refuse, but that he actually wanted to see his cousin. They hadn't seen Nicky in person since the wedding, and Andrew was only so good at hiding the fact that he missed him. Neil told Allison that he would be glad to go, and that he would force Andrew to go, no matter what.

"I don't understand why you're suddenly spending time with Allison, of all people," Andrew growled. They were entwined together on Neil's couch, watching some dumb romcom that Neil had picked out. There was, of course, not much movie-watching going on, but Allison's latest text had caused them to separate.

"You were the one who told me to leave my apartment," Neil shrugged, opening Allison's text.

_AJR.Design: which of these will nicky like the most??_

Attached were three pictures, all of the same cropped t-shirt, just in different colors.

"I told you to leave your apartment, not to make friends with  _her_ ," Andrew narrowed his eyes at Neil's phone, reading Allison's message. "The blue one."

"I thought so, too."

_n.ajosten: andrew & i say the blue one_

"I'm not going tonight, Neil," All day, Andrew had been insisting that he was not going to Allison's that night. Neil rolled his eyes-- he was making Andrew go regardless.

"Is someone jealous?" Neil teased, shifting onto Andrew's lap to straddle him. "Are you jealous of my friends?"

Andrew cringed at the word 'friends'. "She isn't your friend."

Neil gasped over-dramatically. "You  _are_ jealous!"

Andrew shut him up with a kiss, and the conversation with Allison was forgotten about.

*

In the end, all it took to get Andrew to go to Allison's was a threat to sleep on the couch. Andrew huffed, then slowly changed out of his (Neil's) sweatpants. Neil watched him take them off, then realized that Andrew would be leaving the next day, and drug him into the bed. They left the apartment a few minutes late.

Andrew had left his Maserati in Boston, which meant the pair had the wondrous opportunity to ride the subway. Neil could tell that Andrew hated it. There were too many people packed onto one train, and they kept accidentally brushing against both of them. Neil gripped Andrew's hand tightly the entire time, counting the seconds until the ride was over.

When they got to her loft, Allison smiled and quickly ushered them inside. Large plates of food-- no doubt cooked by a hired chef-- sat on her table, along with sets of fine china. In the corner, a lump was lying underneath a cover on the cot.

"Nicky," Allison walked over and gently placed a hand on the lump. "Andrew and Neil are here."

Neil had never seen Nicky move so slowly. Nicky had always been quick movements and excited gestures, but now, wrapped up in Allison's blankets, he was sluggish actions and dried tears. His hair had been mussed by the pillows and blankets, and his eyes were swollen from crying. He wasn't smiling. He had always smiled.

Neil knew that Andrew cared about Nicky. He knew that Andrew loved Nicky. Nicky had been given a second chance, a perfect life in Stuttgart with his soulmate, and he'd dropped it all for Andrew and Aaron. He gave up college and Erik to become a parent to two teenagers. He was there for the twins when they had no one else. Neil knew that Andrew would always feel indebted to him because of this, though he'd never admit it. 

So Neil isn't exactly surprised when Andrew practically seethes "I'll kill him."

"No," It comes out soft and broken. "It's my fault."

"I'll fucking kill him anyway, he--"

"Okay," Allison cut Andrew off. "Let's eat."

There was enough food for ten people at the least. It was all Mexican food placed in brightly colored bowls and neatly garnished. Neil could tell it was Allison trying to make Nicky feel happy and comfortable. He looked absolutely miserable seated at the head of the table, and he didn't serve himself anything until Allison did so herself.

For a long time, nobody spoke. Neil didn't know what to say, Andrew wasn't much of a talker, and Allison seemed to be carefully considering what she should talk about. By the time she thought of something, they were almost done eating.

"So, Neil," Allison spoke suddenly, scaring Neil out of his thoughts. "You have a home game Friday, right?"

"Yeah," It was another unfortunate weekend. Both Andrew and Neil had Friday night games, with Andrew's starting only thirty minutes after Neil's. Neil had already told Andrew that he'd rather wait and see him on Saturday than have him drive all the way to New York in the middle of the night, so that's what they planned.

"Do you want to go, Nicky?" At the mention of his name, Nicky snapped his head up. 

"Yeah, of course," Nicky smiled, though Neil could tell that it was fake.

They spent the rest of dinner talking about Exy, much to Andrew's obvious dismay. He rolled his eyes frequently and refused to contribute anything to the topic. Luckily enough, Allison knew better than to ask him any questions. They mostly talked about Neil's season and the things Nicky had missed while in Germany. Both Neil and Allison were very careful to avoid anything that might remind Nicky of Erik. Slowly, Nicky became more at ease, and little bits of his fun personality poked through his despair.

Andrew was keeping a watchful eye on Nicky. Neil could tell that he wanted to speak to his cousin privately, so Neil volunteered to help Allison do dishes. There wasn't that much space between the dining table and the kitchen, but Neil talked to Allison so they wouldn't eavesdrop. 

"How is he?" He asked, scraping bits of food off of plates.

"He made it through dinner without crying, which is a plus," Allison replied, taking tupperware out of her cabinets. "Do you and Andrew want to take leftovers?"

Neil knew that Allison and Nicky would never be able to finish all of that food by themselves, so he agreed. While Allison emptied the bowls, Neil started washing plates. 

“What do you think is going to happen?” Neil asked. He figured that Nicky choosing Allison to stay with meant she was qualified to speak on the topic. 

“I don’t know, honestly.”

”Why did he choose to stay with you? Why not Andrew or Aaron?” Neil whispered to avoid Nicky hearing him.

Allison sighed. “He’s embarrassed. The twins have always criticized Erik and he doesn’t want to give them any reason to.”

Neil could understand that. Andrew and Aaron definitely weren’t fans of Erik, and him doing anything to make Nicky upset only made it worse. But there was still Neil, still Dan and Matt, still Renee. “Why you, then?”

Allison leaned against the counter, her back to Nicky and Andrew. “We started talking a long time ago. He’s been through a lot of shit, you know. He doesn’t want to bother the twins with any of that. Erik was the only person he could talk to about it, except sometimes it had a lot to do _with_ Erik. I just... I know what it's like to put everything in one person. You put all of your trust in them and all of your love and all of your secrets because you don't have anybody else."

Neil was quiet for a long time. Nicky had put up such a tough exterior that you didn't even realize he had one. Behind all of the jokes and flamboyancy was a real person, but Nicky wanted to make sure that nobody saw that besides Erik. And now Erik was the issue.

By the time they finished the dishes, Andrew and Nicky had returned to silence. Andrew looked like he was ready to leave.

"Thanks for having us," Neil said brightly, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Of course," Allison smiled, then stepped forward and hugged him. Neil was sort of taken aback, because he was so used to yeses and no's, but he hugged her back.

"See you on Friday, Nicky?" 

Nicky offered a slightly more genuine smile. "I'll be there."

*

All the way back, Neil was trying to gauge Andrew's mood. He purposefully hadn't heard any of the conversation between Nicky and his cousin, but the nosy part of him still wanted to know what was said.

He waited until they were in their pajamas and lying in bed to ask. Andrew's arms were wrapped around his waist, and he could feel the man's forehead on the back of his neck. "Did you talk to Nicky?"

"Yeah." Andrew didn't elaborate.

"What did he say?" Neil could feel Andrew tense behind him. He shifted onto his other side so that they were facing one another. Andrew's eyes were closed.

"Nothing. He won't talk to me." That surprised Neil. Nicky was obviously upset, there was no hiding it, so what was the point in refusing to talk to Andrew?

"Are you mad about it?" Andrew let out a soft sigh, then opened his eyes. Neil took a moment to drink in the sight of Andrew's hazel eyes protected beneath his long lashes. He could tell that Andrew didn't want to answer. "Do you think he doesn't trust you?"

"He trusts me," Andrew replied defensively. "He doesn't talk about shit like this."

"Shit like what?"

"Shit like Erik! Shit like things he cares about!" Andrew exclaimed, his grip around Neil's waist tightening slightly. Neil kept his mouth shut, knowing that Andrew would only provide the answers he wanted him to hear. "He's been taking care of us for years. He always puts us first." Neil knew that Andrew was trying to say that he cared about Nicky, that he worried about him. Neil wondered if Nicky knew any of that.

"Yes or no, Andrew?" Neil waited for Andrew's soft 'yes' to press a kiss to his lips. "You're leaving tomorrow afternoon," Neil whispered against Andrew's lips.

"That's typically how these things go, Josten," Andrew kept an iron grip around Neil's waist. 

"Shame," Neil mumbled, before kissing Andrew again, gentler. "I hate it when you leave," Neil broke off for a moment, kissed Andrew once more, then pulled back again. "You should stay forever."

"That's a dangerous word," Andrew tugged Neil's hips closer to him. "Yes or no?"

"Yes," Neil breathed. "For the rest of tonight, yes." 

*

Neil woke up in the morning to the smell of fresh coffee. He pulled on a pair of Andrew's sweatpants, smirking when they didn't quite reach his ankles, and went into the kitchen.

Andrew was leaning against the counter, sipping his overly sweetened coffee. He was on the phone with someone.

"He's fine. I talked to him last night," Andrew saw Neil come into the room and didn't tell him to get out, so Neil assumed that it was okay for him to hear Andrew's part of the conversation. "I don't know why. He won't tell me... No, he's with Allison... I don't know that, either... I don't know how long... Jesus, how many questions are you going to ask? I don't know... yeah, okay, bye Aaron." Andrew dropped his phone onto the counter.

"That was Aaron?" Neil asked, furrowing his brows.

"Katelyn made him call to ask about Nicky," Andrew explained.

"Oh," Neil frowned. The excitement that Aaron had actually called to check on Nicky was stunted by Andrew's inability to give any sort of update.

"Hey, idiot," Andrew snapped. Neil brought himself out of his thoughts and looked at him. He was holding a mug of plain black coffee.

*

The week progressed like any other. At one point, Neil asked Allison if she and Nicky wanted to meet for lunch. Allison had simply said that Nicky didn't feel up to it, and Neil left it alone.

Though it was a little strange to not hear from him, Neil trusted that Nicky was in good hands. Allison knew how to deal with heartbreak better than anyone. He texted her at least once a day to ask if Nicky was alright. He only ever received 'no's and 'sort of's. Andrew called everyday, like normal, and though he never asked explicitly about Nicky, Neil knew that he wanted to. Neil told him everything he'd heard from Allison that day, and he was sure that Andrew was, in turn, passing the information along to Aaron.

Friday night came. Neil received his weekly 'good luck, junkie' text from Andrew, and he sent his 'shut it down, minyard' text back. He heard nothing from Allison or Nicky, which meant to Neil that they weren't coming. He wasn't mad, he understood that Nicky was in a strange place. He hadn't really expected them to come, anyway.

This was one of those very common times in which Neil was incorrect. As he stepped out of the locker rooms, Neil's eyes landed on Allison and Nicky, front row, faced painted Pirates colors, Josten jerseys on. He smiled because Nicky was smiling, bright and radiant and excited. 

Neil could hear Allison and Nicky scream whenever he scored (which was often-- the Seattle Snowbirds weren't exactly competition), and yell whenever a foul was called. At one point, Neil could clearly hear Allison cussing out a referee. The Pirates, of course, won, 23-8. Neil thought Nicky's throat was going to go out by how loudly he was cheering. 

Luckily for him, Neil wasn't on press duty that week. He congratulated his teammates, showered, changed, then went back to the court. Nicky and Allison were still waiting in their seats.

"Neil!" Nicky beamed, jumping up from his seat. "You did  _so good_. That pass? Oh my god!" He threw his arms around Neil's neck and hugged him. "I was  _just_  telling Allison," Nicky released Neil, after nearly crushing his bones, "that we  _have_  to go out tonight. I want to go to all the clubs in New York, every single one."

Neil had never been clubbing anywhere but Eden's, and going out right after a game certainly wasn't the most appealing thing in the world. However, Nicky looked genuinely excited for the first time since Neil had seen him, so he agreed.

" _Awesome_!"

"Go home and change, we'll pick you up, okay?" Allison said, grabbing Nicky's forearm. Neil nodded. He wasn't really sure what he was supposed to wear, but apparently a t-shirt and gym shorts was not it.

An hour later, Nicky and Allison were at Neil's door. He thought that a t-shirt and jeans was acceptable, but when Nicky and Allison showed up in entire ensembles, he realized his mistake. Allison was wearing a grey plaid skirt and black mesh top, along with heels so high that she was almost Nicky's height. Nicky was wearing skin-tight black jeans, some very nice sneakers (from Allison's collection, of course), and a pale yellow button-up shirt. Meanwhile, Neil's shirt had an Exy store's logo on it and his jeans were practically falling down.

"I'm beginning to think you're hopeless," Allison frowned, looking Neil up and down. She pushed past him in the doorway and waltzed into his apartment. "Bedroom?" Neil pointed to his bedroom door, and Allison disappeared inside.

"It's alright, Neil," Neil had momentarily forgotten that Nicky was there. "You aren't  _completely_ hopeless." 

"Thanks?" Neil stepped aside, and Nicky entered the apartment.

Nicky stood in the middle of Neil's tiny living room and looked around, judging each aspect of the space. Neil had been lucky enough to score an apartment with two rooms  _and_ a bathroom. His living room was big enough for a couch on one wall, a TV across from it, and a coffee table in the middle. Squeezed along another wall was his 'kitchenette'-- it was an oven and stovetop, a fridge, a sink, a hanging microwave, and enough counter space for a coffee brewer. He had an island, too, complete with three barstools. There was just enough space for someone to fit in between the island and the kitchen counter.

"It sure is modest," Nicky said with a mixture of optimism and mild disgust in his voice. Neil didn't really care. The apartment was just a place for him (and Andrew, on the weekends) to sleep and eat. He almost hadn't bought a TV, but Andrew said that he'd refuse to visit if Neil didn't provide entertainment. 

"Jesus, Neil," Allison reemerged from Neil's bedroom, a handful of clothes in her arms. "You really own, like, three outfits, huh?"

"They're all gifts, too," Neil responded.

Allison rolled her eyes. "I've done my best to assemble an acceptable outfit for tonight, but I'm really going to need to lend you some of my stuff." Neil wasn't about to say no to free things, so he didn't protest. "Alright, Nicky, verify my choices." Allison dropped the pile of clothes onto the couch, then laid them out so they could be seen. She'd picked the only pair of skinny jeans that Neil owned (a gift), one of his many plain white undershirts, and a navy jacket he had bought from a thrift store.

Nicky considered the outfit. "This will do."

*

Neil changed, then was rushed out the door by Nicky and Allison. The club they planned to go to was just down the street, so they walked.

"I'll take on the job of responsible sober person tonight," Allison announced, walking a few steps in front of Nicky and Neil. "You know," She turned around to face them and started walking backwards. "If you two want to get drunk. I'll make sure you get back okay." She seemed to be speaking exclusively to Neil. There was something about the idea of losing control in a public setting that made him nervous. Allison's loft was one thing, because he knew he wasn't going anywhere. But a club meant a million places to get lost, and he didn't have Andrew there to protect him. Yet, there was something about Allison promising to keep him safe that made him feel more comfortable.

The club was called Motion. It was a fairly nondescript brick building with a simple white sign hanging above a door. Instead of getting in the long line to get inside, Allison walked right up to the bouncer.

"Miss Reynolds!"

"Javier!" To Neil's surprise, Allison hugged the bouncer. "How's Angelica? Did she like the dress I sent her?"

"She  _loved_  it, Miss Reynolds. Thank you so much!" Neil and Nicky shared a somewhat confused glance. "Go on in, your usual table is already set up." The bouncer-- Javier-- opened the door to the club.

"Amazing, Javier. You're the best!" Allison waltzed into the club amidst the groans of those waiting in line. "Javier's family and I..." Allison began to say something, but her voice was completely lost among the music.

As soon as they walked in, they were surrounded by people bumping and grinding against one another. The music was so loud that Neil struggled to hear his own thoughts, and the flashing purple lights were extremely disorienting. He tried to focus on Allison's blonde hair as she weaved them through the crowd and towards a raised platform in the corner. She paused at the steps, taking a moment to whisper something into a security guard's ear. He nodded, then held his hand out for Allison to take as she stepped up onto the platform.

The platform held a number of white sofas and tables, and the music was quieter. There was still an enormous crowd, but they all stuck to the sofas instead of getting in people's way. A few people said hello to Allison, and she politely said hello back, but didn't stop moving until she got to their table and sat down.

"Are you, like, a VIP or something?" Nicky asked, in awe of his surroundings.

Allison shrugged. "I style the owner's wife."

Just seconds after they sat down, a woman came by with a tray of shots. 

"Perfect!" Nicky exclaimed, taking two off the tray. He held one out to Neil. "Neil?"

Neil hesitated, and Allison noticed. "I swear, I'm not having a sip of alcohol tonight. I'll watch out for you."

Neil felt a million fears run through his brain. Could Allison protect him from showing Nathaniel to everyone? From ruining the mood?

 _Nathaniel's dead_ , Neil thought. And besides, he doubted that he was the sort of drunk to bring up their past trauma. He'd gotten drunk the previous weekend and Allison said nothing of him talking about anything inappropriate. He'd never know until he tried.

Nicky and Neil did their shots together. It was disgusting, but Neil did a second one, anyway. Allison laughed at his wince, while Nicky downed his like a complete professional. They stayed on the sofa for a while, Neil sipping on some drink that he'd picked up off another tray. He was finding it increasingly difficult to follow Allison and Nicky's conversation, so he took another shot and demanded they go dance.

"Oh," Nicky frowned, then picked up on the fact that Neil was just a little drunk. "Yeah, sure, Neil. Let's go."

The three of them wandered out onto the dance floor, Allison looking a prime dancing spot. They found a space where they could all comfortably stand in a circle, and it was Nicky who began the dancing. Within a few minutes, Neil had an arm slung around both Nicky and Allison as he jumped up and down, singing loudly to whatever music was playing. At one point, Nicky shouted something at him, which he didn't hear at all.

"What?" Neil practically screamed straight into Nicky's ear.

"I said you're like sober me when you're drunk!" Nicky shouted. Neil wasn't quite sure what that meant, so he elected to ignore it.

Later, Nicky said something into Allison's ear. She nodded, and Nicky disappeared into the crowd. Allison didn't say anything to Neil about it, so he assumed it wasn't that important.

Neil and Allison danced together, keeping up the arms slung around each other's shoulders for a while. However, a couple burst into their space, the woman grinding down on the man's thigh as he literally attacked her neck. Neil stood in shock for a second, then burst into laughter. Allison was laughing, too, her hand on her chest.

"Hey, Allison!" Neil shouted at her. He stepped forward and mimicked the woman, obnoxiously grinding on Allison's leg. It made her laugh even harder, and she had to hold onto Neil's shoulders just to keep standing. The rest of the night consisted of them locating 'gross straight people' and (Neil very drunkenly) mocking them. When they saw a man struggling to hold the woman that had jumped onto his hips, Neil laughed so hard he thought he was going to throw up.

Eventually, Neil and Allison stumbled their way back to the platform. Allison had kept her promise of not drinking, but the physical toll of wearing such high heels was causing her to talk a bit unsteadily. When they made it back to their table from earlier, they found a couple making out in their spot.

"Hey!" Allison lightly hit the girl-- boy?-- on the shoulder and-- oh, it was Nicky. He had been straddling the lap of some guy, making out with him. "Whoops," Allison's face turned bright red. "You can, um--"

"No," Nicky interrupted, getting off of the guy's lap. "I want to go home."

*

Allison took a very happy-drunk Neil and a very mopey-drunk Nicky onto the subway to get back to her loft. Neil was trying to be well-behaved, but everything around him was so interesting and so, so fucking  _hilarious_. He was leaning on Allison to keep upright, giggling to himself about everything he saw on the train. When they got off, he giggled about everything he saw outside. When they got to her loft, he giggled about that.

Neil woke up on Allison's couch, again. Nicky was snoring on his cot, and Allison was in the kitchenette. Neil stood, groaning at the feeling of his pounding headache. His phone was buzzing incessantly, which wasn't helping his headache at all.

_AJMinyard: be there in an hour_

_AJMinyard: 10 mins_

_AJMinyard: answer your fucking door, junkie_

_AJMinyard: you better not be asleep_

_AJMinyard: why the fuck arent you home_

_AJMinyard: neil where the fuck are you_

_AJMinyard: neil_

Neil groaned again, knowing Andrew was going to kill him. He hadn't expected Andrew to come so early, and he hadn't expected to stay so late at Allison's. He pulled on his shoes, which were next to the couch, and raced over to the kitchenette. Allison was making pancakes.

"I'm so sorry, I can't stay, thanks for having me, we should do this again," Neil blurted as he dialed Andrew's number.

"Okay," Allison smiled. "Same time next week?" 

It was a joke, but Neil didn't have time to laugh. He pressed 'call' on his phone as he jogged toward the door. Andrew picked up on the first ring.

"I am  _so sorry_ ," Neil said as soon as he heard Andrew breathing on the other line.

"Neil?" Andrew asked cautiously.

"What? Yeah, it's--" Neil then came to the sudden realization that Andrew probably assumed he had been kidnapped or murdered. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry, Andrew, I'm fine, I swear."

Andrew was silent from the time that Neil entered Allison's complex's stairwell to the time he stepped onto the sidewalk. "You didn't text."

"I know," Neil was panting from the sprint down the stairs, trying to remember which way the subway station was. "I went out with Allison and Nicky last night. I got drunk and she took me back to her loft."

"So you were at Allison's. Again."

"Yeah."

Andrew went silent again.

"I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven. Just get your ass back here, okay?"

"I'm almost there."

*

Andrew was waiting by the door when Neil walked in. "Yes or no?"

"Yes." Andrew took Neil's face in his hands and kissed him, hard.

"You're not allowed to scare me like that," He said sternly, still cupping Neil's jaw.

"I told you I was sorry," Neil sighed, before leaning forward and kissing Andrew again. 

"I hate you."

They ended up on the couch, Neil's head on Andrew's shoulder, a dumb sit-com on TV. Neil had popped popcorn, which Andrew had poured M&M's into and was now shoveling into his mouth.

"Kevin would have a stroke if he saw you eating that," Neil frowned, looking at the excessive amount of butter practically dripping off the popcorn. 

"Good. Maybe he'll calm down then." 

Neil scoffed, then returned his eyes to the screen.

"Why did you go out with Allison and Nicky?" Andrew asked suddenly, startling Neil.

"Oh, well... they came to my game, and afterwards they just asked, and I agreed." Neil couldn't imagine having said no after watching the pair of them cheer for him all game.

"But why did they go to your game?" Neil suppressed an eye roll-- Andrew was turning into the little kid who asked 'why?' after everything you said.

"Because they're my friends," Neil replied.

"Why are they--"

"Because!" Neil cried, exasperated. "Because they're Foxes. Because they were there for me. Because I need more friends."

They fell into silence. Then, "How's Nicky?"

Neil remembered coming back to see Nicky making out with some guy on the sofa, and how he'd wanted to leave immediately after that. "I'm not sure, to be honest. He was making out with some guy at the club."

"He did that even when he was with Erik," Andrew scoffed. "Did you at least have fun?"

"Yeah." Neil thought back to Allison's 'let's do this again.' He'd had enough fun last night to warrant going out again in the same weekend. "Do you want to go out with them before you go back?"

Andrew furrowed his brows and looked at Neil. "Of course not." He looked back to the television. "And I'm not going to the Christmas party next week, either."

Neil knew that was wrong.


	3. matt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eef this was definitely supposed to be the shortest chapter and it ended up being the longest!! (sorrynotsorry) enjoy this very strangely timed christmas chapter in the middle of january!!  
> again, i wanted to get this out so i didnt proofread!! youre welcome to roast me in the comments  
> i tentatively want to say updates will come out every monday?? that just seems to be when im typically done with them but we'll see, we'll see  
> thanks so, so much for all of the kudos so far, it means the world to me!! your support is the reason i keep going!!
> 
> i also just want to note that, especially in this chapter, the relationship statuses of some couples might seem a little strange. i promise that im doing it for a reason and that they end up in the correct place!! just bear with me xx
> 
> update: i forgot to mention triggers for this chapter!! triggers for nightmares, panic attacks, and referenced torture

Like every year, the Christmas season snuck up on Neil. Before he knew it, Allison had a Christmas tree in her loft and Nicky started talking about what he was going to buy everyone. Neil never really liked Christmas-- when he was younger, getting wrapped up (no pun intended) in silly celebrations such as Christmas meant letting your guard down and risking your life. He had never believed in Santa, and his parents never got him a thing. He wasn't mad about it, despite Nicky's insistence that he should be. Neil didn't even want to know what his father would have deemed a good present for a six year old, and the toys and games his mother would've gotten him never satisfied him. So Neil didn't pay attention to the passing of December days, and it was the 23rd all too soon.

Allison was hosting the Fox Christmas party that year. Everyone was arriving throughout the day, and they would have dinner on Christmas Eve and open presents on Christmas. It was by Nicky's saving grace that Neil managed to remember to buy gifts for everyone, unlike previous years when he settled with what he could find the night before. They weren't exactly nice or useful gifts, they were just what he could find, but Neil believed that it was the thought that counted (there was no thought. He'd nearly forgotten about the whole thing).

Allison had summoned Neil over in the morning to help her finish decorating. She, Neil and Nicky had all gone to Motion the previous night, so it took quite a bit of Advil for Neil to bring himself out the door. He did it, nonetheless, and soon was tacking up garland around her loft.

"Neil!" Allison had disappeared upstairs to her bedroom a couple minutes ago, but now was reemerging with a wrapped box. "Early Christmas present."

Neil knew it was clothes, but still acted surprised when he opened the box. Allison had leant him a shirt or two from her collection over the past couple of weeks, but never anything he could keep. He honestly really liked everything she designed. It wasn't too over-the-top and yet it made you stand out in a crowd. Allison had given him a pair of black trousers, a black button-up, and a deep red suit jacket. She then made him swear he'd wear it instead of an ugly sweater on Christmas Eve.

They worked through the day with little interruption. Nicky had declared that hiring a chef to cook Christmas Even dinner would be a sin, so he began the task of deciding what they'd cook and creating a grocery list. Once Andrew arrived, he rolled his eyes and tore up the list.

"You haven't cooked anything decent in your life, Nicky," Andrew rolled his eyes, tossing the shreds of paper into the garbage. 

"I cooked for you for two years!" Nicky exclaimed.

"Takeout does not count," Andrew responded, narrowing his eyes at Nicky. Neil had so desperately wanted to ask Andrew about his time in high school living with Nicky, but he never did. He understood that Andrew would tell him about it if he wanted Neil to know, and knew that he wouldn't want to tell Andrew anything from his late high school years, either. Instead, he took little moments like this between Nicky and Andrew and committed them to memory.

Aaron arrived around lunchtime with Katelyn, who had a diamond ring on her left hand. Neil noticed Andrew's insistence not to look at it, or her at all.

Continuing the saga of strange people Allison seemed to be friends with, Katelyn ran to Allison immediately after her hellos to Nicky, Andrew and Neil. Katelyn made a comment on what Allison was wearing, and the conversation fell too deep into clothes for Neil to be able to follow along.

Dan came next, alone. She hugged Neil so tight he felt a rib crack, but he didn't mind. Dan wasn't like the other Foxes in that she didn't call him constantly, but Neil made sure to text her every once in a while. It was easier to keep up with her when she was attached to Matt, because Matt was always calling and texting and Facetiming Neil. However, since their separation (or whatever they were calling it), Neil's Matt Time was no longer diluted with Dan Time. It was just a little bit too much raw Matt Time for Neil to handle.

Kevin arrived in the late afternoon with Amalia. Neil had heard from Allison that Thea was flying in on Christmas Eve to take Amalia to her family's. She and Kevin were in the middle of a rather ugly custody battle, and Neil wasn't quite sure what to think of it. He really just wished that Kevin and Thea would get back together, though at this point, it seemed impossible.

The girls flocked to Amalia. Neil would admit it, the girl was adorable. Kevin carried her in, but she practically jumped out of his arms as soon as they entered the loft. She started doing laps around the kitchen while the girls giggled and chased her. Kevin explained that, for whatever reason, Amalia only ran or crawled, no walking. If Kevin tried to make her walk, she'd sit down and start to crawl. If he wanted her moving on two feet, he had to let her run. It made him hopeful for her Exy career.

Wymack, Abby and Bee all came together not much later. Wymack seemed thrilled to see his granddaughter again, and immediately took over the job of chasing her around the loft. Abby and Bee were sharing the load of carrying all the food they'd promised to bring (it was all desserts). They stacked it on the counter and made their rounds of hello, with Bee lingering on Andrew. Neil knew that they still talked as regularly as they had when Andrew was in college. He was glad Andrew had someone besides Neil to talk to.

Renee came right around dinnertime, exhausted from her flight from Ethiopia. She shared a heartfelt hello with Allison, which included a soft kiss that Neil was pretty sure they thought nobody saw. Renee had pretty hefty bags under her eyes, which she explained as a result of both the long flight and trying to keep up with the young kids at the orphanage she worked at. But, she added, she loved it and wouldn't trade it for the world.

Matt came last. He crossed the threshold and made a beeline for Neil. Neil accepted the bone-crushing hug and lift off the ground-- he'd missed Matt and his energy, and there was something about him that wasn't easily communicated over the phone. Matt released him, quickly hugged him again, then made his way over to Allison.

It was strange having everyone back in the same room. They fell into different dynamics now: the line between the upperclassmen and Andrew's group had become completely blurred. Neil spent most of his time with Nicky and Allison, Kevin was attached to Renee via Amalia, and Andrew and Aaron strangely clung to each other. 

"Look," Allison leaned over and whispered in Neil's ear. "Don't look now, but when I stop talking look at Dan and Matt over by the window." Neil waited until Allison had settled back into her spot on the sofa to turn his head toward the window. Dan and Matt were in deep conversation, attention totally given to one another.

"They're getting back together by the end of the trip, I'm calling it," Nicky whispered, leaning slightly toward Neil. 

"Are we putting money on it?" Allison asked, sounding excited. "We haven't bet on anything in  _years_."

"Of  _course_  we're betting on it," Nicky scoffed, getting out his phone. "I'm putting $150 on them being back together by New Year's."

Allison considered this for a moment as Nicky tapped something into his phone. "I'll match that, but they're getting back together by the 26th."

"Bet," Nicky replied, typing Allison's response into his phone. "Go get Renee's bet."

Neil watched Allison spring up from the couch and walk over to Renee, who was holding Amalia and talking to Kevin. Allison gently touched her on the shoulder to get her attention, then leaned over and murmured something into Renee's ear. Renee laughed and said something to Kevin, then something else to Allison.

"She's with me, of course," Allison took back her place on the sofa. "Neil?"

Neil had never been a part of an upperclassmen bet before. He glanced back to Matt, who was listening intently to what Dan was saying. Neil usually knew Matt did before he did it, which Matt called his 'Bro Intuition.' Neil's Bro Intuition was telling him that if there was a chance of Dan and Matt getting back together, he would've never heard the end of it.

"Not by New Year's," Neil sighed, not taking his eyes off Matt. "I don't know when."

*

Neil came up behind Andrew, then rested his chin on the man's shoulder.

"Your friends are fucking idiots," Andrew growled, angrily stabbing a potato with a fork. "You need to fucking ventilate the potato, how do you not know that you need to fucking ventilate a potato?" Andrew tossed the potato onto a tray with a dozen others. "Nicky, are you done cleaning the fucking oven yet you fucking imbecile?"

Neil knew he was right to ask Andrew to come over to help cook. He'd had to beg, but Andrew eventually caved once Neil fed his culinary ego enough. Allison had opened the door and cheerily informed them that they'd just put the baked potatoes in the oven. After a few soft popping noises coming from the oven, Andrew asked if they were 'really so fucking stupid as to forget to poke holes in the potatoes, you incapable nimwits.' It was a good start.

Nicky took up the job of cleaning out the oven while Andrew went to work saving the day. He threw open the clean oven to make sure that 'you dumbasses didn't manage to fuck up a ham,' informing Allison that she needed to cook it for at least another hour than what she had planned. He had dug out the extra potatoes and starting violently attacking them with a fork while Nicky threw the exploded skins into the trash.

"It's clean," Nicky tossed a paper towel covered in potato guts into the trash. Andrew walked over to the oven, letting Neil's chin drop. He threw the tray of potatoes into the now clean top oven and slammed the door shut.

"Have you at least managed to make a decent pie?" He asked Allison, crossing his arms.

"Well," Allison's eyes quickly flitted over to the unopened bag of apples. "Actually--"

She was cut off by a knock at the door. Neil frowned, but Nicky rushed over to the door. 

"Hey!" It was Matt. He hugged Nicky, which was admittedly sort of strange to Neil, then rushed inside. "Neil!" Matt hugged him just as tight as he had the day before.

"What are you doing here?" Neil asked, delightfully confused by Matt's appearance. 

"I'm here to help," Matt responded, before moving over to hug Allison. "What do you need me to do?"

"Peel apples?" Allison asked, grabbing the bag of apples. 

Matt and Neil peeled apples together, with Matt talking excitedly about what was going on in his life. He hadn't signed on to a pro team for the season, not because they didn't want him, but because he had other plans. He was working on launching a program that taught Exy to current and former addicts in an attempt to give them something else to do with their time. It was still in its initial phases, but it took up a lot of his time, which was why he wasn't on a team that season.

"So," Matt said, tossing a peeled apple into the bowl, "I'm moving to New York, for the time being."

"Wait," Neil stopped peeling. "What?"

Matt was smiling. "I'm moving to New York. To be close with my parents for a while. And other people."

"Matt, that's," Neil smiled to himself. "That's really cool."

*

Somehow, all the food was finished in time (Nicky called it a 'Christmas miracle,' Andrew called it 'introducing a sensible person to the situation'). As soon as the ham was out of the oven, Andrew retreated to the couch and refused to help with anything else. Neil rolled his eyes, but didn't push it. Matt and Nicky took up the job of getting out Allison's china, while Allison and Neil plated all the food they'd made.

"Hey," Neil was arranging the successful baked potatoes on a plate while Allison cut up the ham. "Why isn't Renee staying here?"

Allison didn't seem at all surprised by the question. "She's staying here tonight, she stayed with Dan last night. It's just..." She sighed. "Whenever Renee gets time to come back, she spends it with me. She doesn't go to Stephanie's or Dan's, she comes here, to New York. Obviously I'm grateful, but I feel like I'm eating up all her time, sometimes. So I told her to go have some Dan Time and we could make up for it later."

Neil considered the phrase 'make up for it.' "Like..." He struggled to word his question. " _Make up_ for it make up for it?"

Allison turned bright red and giggled, then threw a glance at Nicky. "I bought him earplugs."

Neil started laughing with Allison, trying to imagine him huddled under blankets as Renee and Allison went at it in such open space. You could basically see her bed from where Nicky's cot was and you could definitely hear everything, earplugs or not. Their laughter was cut off by a knock at the door.

"Fuck!" Allison shouted, picking up the pace in cutting the ham. "Someone go get the door!"

It was Dan with Renee, each of them holding bags of presents. Allison ushered them in, directing them to the tree where they could put their gifts. Aaron and Katelyn arrived next, Katelyn holding their presents. Wymack, Abby, Bee and Kevin came together last. Bee and Abby held even more food, and Wymack held a giant box of presents. Kevin came empty-handed: Thea had flown in two hours early to take Amalia. Allison had been warned beforehand that Kevin was in the middle of a rough road to sobriety, so it was grape juice all around.

Nicky had worked tirelessly to make the seating arrangements as least awkward as possible, and even make sure Kevin was distracted while he snatched Amalia's name card off the table and rolled the highchair into the corner. He'd put Matt and Dan apart from each other, then put all of the couples together, then went back and made sure Andrew was surrounded by only people he didn't absolutely hate, then rearranged because Katelyn was across from Andrew, then rearranged again because that put Dan next to Matt, then rearranged once more so Kevin was next to Wymack. The whole thing had taken him an hour and it hardly saved him any awkwardness. The distinct lack of a giggling one year old left the room a bit too quiet, and the somber look on Kevin's face was just a bit jarring. There was also the issue that any of the food made exclusively by Allison or Nicky was terrible, and all of the food made exclusively by Andrew was incredible.

Exy was the main conversational topic, of course, and Neil could feel Andrew's annoyance radiating off of him. In Andrew's defense, Neil had forced him to spend an entire day fixing the mistakes of people that he found irritating. Neil changed the subject from Exy to Renee's kids from Ethiopia. He smiled to himself when he felt Andrew's hand, reassuring and thankful, resting on his leg.

Dinner was finished, the conversation was worn out, and the presents were all placed neatly under Allison's tree. Neil wanted to stay and help Allison clean up, but he could also sense Andrew's building frustration with being around so many people for so long.

"Go," Allison said, noticing Neil's glance at Andrew. She placed a hand delicately on his shoulder. "You've helped a lot today, and I have Nicky, Matt and Renee to help. Go home."

"Okay," Overwhelmed by a bit of Christmas spirit, Neil pulled Allison in for a hug. He wanted to tell her how thankful he was for her, how much he enjoyed dancing like idiots at Motion with her, how he was grateful that she looked after him. Instead, all that came out was "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Allison repeated, before letting go of Neil.

*

"Thank you," Neil said as soon as he closed the door to his apartment. "I know today was miserable."

"It was insufferable," Andrew corrected, giving Neil a blank glare. "You owe me." He stepped closer to Neil, hands hovering above his hips. "Yes or no?"

"Yes," Neil answered. Andrew's hands fell onto Neil's hips, as grounding and firm as they had been at dinner. Andrew kissed him with all of the anger he'd been bottling up all day, but it came out as passion. "You were, like, really hot when you were cooking today."

Andrew froze. He pulled back from Neil's lips. "You're killing the mood, junkie."

"Sorry," Neil leaned forward to chase after Andrew's lips, but the other man leaned back to avoid it. "Fine, your ass looks good in those pants, does that fit the mood?"

"No," Andrew responded, but he resumed kissing Neil, anyway.

Neil went to bed happy.

*

It had been years, and Neil could still feel the knife on his skin, still feel the tattoo gun on his cheekbone, still feel the dye being scrubbed into his hair. It had been so many years.

Neil made a point of never thinking about Riko, ever, but especially during the holidays. During the  _anniversary_. Bee had explained to him, once, that sometimes memories came back without warning on anniversaries, despite how much you thought you were over it. Neil really thought he was over it.

It was Christmas morning, there was fresh New York snow on the ground, and Neil was standing in front of the bathroom mirror. His eyes were too blue, his hair was too red. He had too many scars. If he looked close enough, he could see where the four used to be on his cheekbone. Maybe she hadn't burnt all of it off. No, she couldn't have, because Neil was leaning very close to the mirror and he swore he could see it underneath the scarred tissue.

"Neil."

Andrew. Not in Easthaven, here. Neil. Not in Evermore, here. New York. Shitty apartment. Pirates. Rebels. Motion. Nicky. Allison.

It wasn't enough to reign his mind back in. Neil saw himself shaking in the mirror, but didn't feel it. It was still there. How come nobody else saw it? Or had they, and nobody told him? Why hadn't Wymack let him cut it off in the first place?

" _Neil_."

Andrew. Here. New York. Snow. Pirates. Rebels. Motion.

"It's still there," Neil mumbled, reaching up to touch the scars. He wanted to pick at them, to pull the skin off to get to the tattoo underneath. He wanted to cut it off.

"It's not," Andrew's voice was strong. Everything about Andrew was strong, constantly. "She burnt it off, remember?" Neil knew that Andrew was tiptoeing with his words-- he was, too. He didn't need a breakdown about Lola on top of his breakdown about Riko.

"It's there, I see it," Neil said to himself as he began to scratch at the circular scars on his face. He had to get it off.

"Abram." Andrew appeared behind Neil in the mirror. "Nothing is there. It's just scars." Neil pulled his hand away from his face and focused on Andrew's reflection. "Yes or no?"

Neil was worried that if Andrew touched him, he'd be transported right back to Evermore and he'd ruin Christmas. But Andrew's touch wasn't like Riko's, and it never would be. "Yes."

Andrew took Neil's hands first, to make sure they didn't fly back up to his face. He turned Neil around and brought him into his arms. "I'll tell Allison we aren't coming this morning."

Neil sobbed. He sobbed because he wanted to go to Allison's, but knew he couldn't. He wouldn't be able to face any of them and not retreat back to the boy he was after that Christmas break. He certainly wouldn't be able to face Kevin.

"I still feel it," Neil cried into Andrew's neck. "I'm supposed to be over it, but I still feel it."

Andrew hugged Neil a little tighter. "You will never stop feeling it. You will just learn how to cope with feeling it."

The words made Neil cry harder.

*

Neil's Christmas was spent with his head in Andrew's lap, Andrew's fingers in his hair, and Hallmark movies on TV. Andrew excused himself once to talk to Aaron on the phone, but Neil didn't have the energy to try to eavesdrop. He slept far too much, making each of the dumb, overdramatic movies blend in to one another.

"Didn't she get together with that other guy?" Neil asked, yawning.

"No," Andrew responded, his fingers feather-light on Neil's head. "That was the last movie."

"Oh," Neil yawned again. "What time is it?"

Andrew removed his hand from Neil's hair pick up his phone. "Almost 11. Bee says she and Matt are on their way over with our presents."

Neil wasn't exactly excited to be psychoanalyzed by Bee and he was disappointed that he missed the gift-giving that morning. However, the thought of seeing Matt on such a gloomy day made him feel just a bit better.

"How do you feel?" Andrew placed his hand back on Neil's head.

Neil knew better than to lie to Andrew. He was terrified to look in a mirror and there was a persistent itch on his cheekbone. A glimpse of his red hair falling over his forehead made his heart beat faster than it should. He felt like Riko was lurking around every corner. He felt like if Andrew left, he would wake up to Jean cleaning his wounds. "Not good."

"Do you want something to eat?" Neil knew he wouldn't be able to stomach it, so he said no. He let himself fall back asleep.

*

_Riko was laughing, hovering over him, a tattoo gun in hand._

_"You're never going to forget that you're mine," He sneered, before leaning down and tattooing Neil's face. Neil tried to scream, but his mouth wouldn't open._

_"He sewed it closed," Jean was standing beside him, holding a bloody rag. "You screamed too much, so he sewed it closed."_

_Riko disappeared and was replaced by Andrew, whose hair was ruffled and whose eyes were dark. He was pinning Neil down with his hands above his head._

_"I'm going to make you pay for what you did," Andrew growled. "I'm going to burn that ugly, disgusting face off."_

_"Neil!" It was Andrew's voice coming out of Jean's mouth. All Neil could feel was the pain of Andrew burning his face. "Neil!"_

_"Abram!"_

Neil bolted upright, and he was back in his apartment in New York. Andrew was standing at the door, but then he was over next to Neil, shoving a trash can in his face just seconds before the contents of Neil's stomach poured out of his mouth. Bee and Matt were standing in the doorway looking shocked. 

"Abram," Andrew set the trash can down and took Neil's face in his hands. "Abram. Look at me."

Neil was shaking. His mind was replaying the events of his nightmare over and over, the pain as sharp as it had been when it happened for real. He didn't want to look at Andrew, didn't want to see the dark eyes and the intent to kill.

"Look at me, Abram." Neil risked a look at Andrew. He looked nothing like he had in Neil's dream. His eyes weren't murderous, they were their normal hazel and they were filled with concern. "You are Neil Abram Josten. I am Andrew Joseph Minyard. We are in New York. It is Christmas. Betsy and Matt are here. Breathe."

Neil took a slow deep breath, then another, then another. He soon stopped shaking and felt strong enough to move without bursting into tears, so he buried his face into Andrew's neck. Andrew wrapped his arms loosely around him. "Let's say hi to Bee and Matt, okay?" 

Matt looked horrified, Bee looked sad. Neil didn't have the energy to give them much else than a nod of acknowledgement. 

"We brought all your gifts," Matt quickly looked away from Neil and held up a bag full of presents. Andrew took them from him, clearly not trusting anyone to come near Neil besides himself. Bee tested it, anyway, taking a step into the apartment and closer to Neil.

"Don't," Andrew snapped immediately. Bee gave him a look that Neil didn't comprehend. "You can't touch him," Andrew compromised. Secretly, Neil's heart warmed at Andrew's protection instinct. "You can go near him, but you can't touch him. You," Andrew pointed at Matt, "have to stay there."

Bee came into the apartment and stood between the TV and the coffee table. "How have you been feeling?"

Neil hated that question and wanted nothing more than to give a sarcastic answer, but he knew that it would get him nowhere. "Really bad when I woke up. Better this morning. Really, really awful right now."

Bee nodded. "Do you remember what I told you about anniversaries?"

Neil remembered. It was the only reason he didn't think he was dying when he woke up. "Yeah. But I haven't thought about it in so long, I thought it would just... go away."

"It never goes away," Bee sounded remarkably like Andrew. "It just gets better. Sometimes it gets worse, but it always gets better again. Have you had any other nightmares?" Neil shook his head. "That's good. Keep resting today and tomorrow, maybe take your medicine if the anxiety is too much?" Bee had prescribed Neil medication to treat his anxiety and panic attacks, but he'd never taken it and didn't plan to. "Matt and I are going to go, we can visit later, alright?"

"Okay."

Once Bee and Matt left, Andrew and Neil resumed their positions on the couch. They finished the movie they were on, this time with Neil fighting to stay awake. 

"Can we open our gifts?" Neil asked, needing something to distract him from the temptation of a nap.

"Sure," Andrew got up and retrieved the bag of presents.

Fox presents were always interesting. Andrew and Neil both got coffee mugs from Wymack and socks from Abby. Andrew unwrapped his present from Bee and seemed appalled when it turned out to be a fidget spinner.

"Do you think she knows?" Andrew regarded the box with disgust.

"She definitely doesn't know," Neil answered, smiling as Andrew tossed the fidget spinner into the garbage can that Neil had just thrown up in. She'd also gotten Andrew an emoji stress ball and Neil a slime kit.

"She did  _not_  get you a fucking slime kit."

"She got me a slime kit," Neil looked at the slime kit in disbelief. He was a grown man. This was from Claire's. "Do you think she thinks it's supposed to be relaxing?"

"It doesn't matter what she thinks. It's a  _slime kit_. It's neon pink with glitter."

Nicky got Neil boxers with cats on them and Andrew a pair of sneakers with rainbow laces. Renee got Andrew a couple of knives and Neil some succulents. Dan got Neil a headband with a note saying his hair was too long as well as PSU running shorts that had a pocket for his phone; she got Andrew a $100 Visa gift card.

"Finally, someone with some good fucking taste," Andrew said as he set Dan's gift card aside.

Aaron and Katelyn (Neil guessed it was mostly Katelyn) got Neil a warm sweater to wear on his early morning New York runs and Andrew the same exact sweater, but in black. Matt gave Andrew a few books and Neil Airpods. 

"Do you think these will stay in when I run?" Neil flipped open the case to the Airpods and took one of them out.

"They don't fall out," Andrew murmured. "They never fall out."

Kevin got Neil a phone case with an Exy racket on it and new sneakers; he got Andrew a 'Celtics #02' jersey that Neil knew he'd never wear. Allison's gifts came last-- they were both the largest. Neil felt bad because Allison had already gotten him something and he panicked and got her a wine glass. This time, she'd gotten him a couple button up shirts, another suit jacket, two pairs of jeans and a pair of shoes. Attached to the box was a note reading 'wear these when we go out so I don't have to style you every time.'

Andrew then opened Allison's gift for him. She'd gotten him a black button-up shirt, a black sweatshirt, two pairs of black jeans and, finally, a black turtleneck sweater that looked like someone had ripped the bottom half off of.

"It's ripped?" Neil frowned, looking at the threads hanging from the sweater.

"It's cropped, idiot," Andrew replied before neatly folding the sweater and putting it with his other gifts.

"Oh," Neil felt dumb, not for the first time in his life. "You wouldn't wear that, would you?"

"I'm not picky when it comes to free clothes, Neil."

Neil took a moment to visualize Andrew in a cropped sweater. He didn't hate it.

*

Neil spent the 26th of December in bed. His limbs felt heavy and his eyes felt droopy. Andrew brought him some toast and coffee, which helped wake him up but didn't change his inability to get out of bed. Andrew seemed content to lie next to Neil all day, reading one of the books Matt had gotten him. At some point, Renee came over to say goodbye. Andrew left the room to say his farewell, but didn't let Renee come into Neil's bedroom. She called out her goodbye from the doorway.

On the morning on the 27th, Neil felt better. Everyone besides New York residents and Andrew who hadn't left yet were doing so today, and Neil felt up to going to Allison's loft to say goodbyes. 

"Neil!" Dan didn't crush Neil in a hug, but gave him a big smile. "I'm going to miss you, so you'd better call me everyday, okay?"

"Okay, Dan," Neil smiled and stepped forward to hug Dan. She hugged him back, before pulling away and stepping out the door.

Aaron looked incredibly awkward as Katelyn went around saying her goodbyes. He had already said a couple words to Nicky and Kevin and was clearly ready to get on a plane heading away from New York. Neil watched as Andrew walked over towards Aaron, then pretended not to watch as they hugged quickly. Aaron was gone immediately after that, and Katelyn soon followed.

Wymack, Abby and Bee all made their own somewhat heartfelt farewells, then left. Kevin briefly hugged Neil before leaving, too, not long after Wymack. Allison's loft was as empty as it had been in days.

Andrew left on the 28th. He made Neil swear to call him if he ever had another nightmare or panic attack, which Neil agreed to. He then kissed Neil hard and left the apartment.

Neil resumed his weekly schedule. Matt had been initiated into his friend group with Allison and Nicky. The three of them came to his Thursday night game the day before New Year's. Allison had been talking for days about an exclusive party she'd gotten the four of them into. Neil had originally wanted to spend his New Year's with Andrew, but the man had the terrible luck of not just a morning game, but a morning game on New Year's Day. 

Neil wore the clothes Allison had gotten him for Christmas to the New Year's party. He met Nicky and Allison at her loft, and Matt came a few minutes later. Allison had already prepared makeshift beds on her couches for drunk Neil and Matt to crash on when they returned in the morning.

"It's my turn to be sober," Nicky announced as the four of them walked out the door. As their nights out became more frequent, Nicky, Allison and Neil established a rotation for the 'Sober Friend.' The Sober Friend couldn't touch a drop of alcohol all night, was supposed to know where his or her drunk friends were at all times, and had to ensure that all drunk persons ended up unharmed in Allison's loft at the end of the night. The practice helped Neil feel more comfortable with getting drunk in public, because he knew one of his friends was going to make sure he was okay.

Allison was taking them to an extremely high-profile rooftop party that overlooked Times Square. As they made their way towards the venue, she bragged endlessly about the numerous celebrities bound to be in attendance. She'd apparently had to do a copious amount of networking to get them into the party, so she expected them all (barring Nicky) to get adequately drunk and to enjoy themselves.

They arrived at the party at eleven. Neil thought the whole bouncer-checking-the-List thing was just something in movies, but it turned out that it happened in real life. The bouncer standing at the entrance checked for all four of their names before stepping aside to let them in.

For an exclusive party, it was pretty crowded. Allison had, of course, reserved them a table with bottle service, but it took lots of squeezing through bodies to get to it. Once they got there, Allison excused herself to order shots for three of them and a water for Nicky.

"Thanks, Al," Nicky called, his attention taken by his phone. He sighed, then shoved it into his pocket.

Matt and Neil shared a look. They both knew it had something to do with Erik, but both wanted the other person to bring it up. Neither of them did, so they sat in silence until Allison returned with the shots.

Doing shots had become a little easier for Neil. Doing shots while his elbow was linked with Allison's was significantly more difficult than doing them regularly, causing more liquor to end up on the floor than in his mouth. Neil had done three shots (his first of the night, then a semi-failed one with Allison, then a much better one with Matt) by the time the waitress came around with a bucket of bottles. Allison grabbed a bottle of vodka, took a swig, then dragged the four of them out to the balcony.

Some popstar Neil had yet to hear of was performing in Times Square. Neil had never seen so many people gathered in one place, stuffed in every crevice of the place, all moving in time with the same song. They watched the singer, pressed up against the barrier as the balcony got more and more crowded. Whoever it was finished and left the stage to millions of people screaming at the top of their lungs. It only got louder as the ball began to move down.

"TEN! NINE!" Allison screeched, grabbing Nicky and Neil's hands.  


Matt grabbed Neil's free hand and lifted it into the air. "EIGHT! SEVEN!"

Neil leaned forward to look at Nicky. He didn't look as sad as he had before when he was checking his phone. Instead, he was grinning, clutching Allison's hand. "SIX! FIVE!"

"FOUR! THREE!" Allison had set the bottle of vodka on the balcony, where it teetered precariously toward the edge. Neil wondered what would happen if it fell onto the people chanting down below.

"TWO!" Neil's increasingly drunk mind took a moment to conjure up sweet memories of his friends from the past month. He hated that his tears welled up.  


"ONE!" The ball touched the bottom and New York exploded in cheers. Confetti flew down from unidentifiable places, the sound of party horns was deafening, and millions of people down below kissed.

"To best friendship!" Allison cheered, grabbing the bottle of vodka and taking a gulp. 

"To best friendship!" Neil replied, accepting the bottle from Allison and taking his own swig. He passed it to Matt, who repeated the process. Nicky made the same toast with his water.

_AJMinyard: happy new year._  


_n.ajosten: happy new yaer~_

_n.ajosten: !_  


_n.ajosten: loev u!!_

Neil lost track of time very quickly after that. He and Allison danced for a little while, then he and Matt started drinking competitively, then he was dancing with Nicky.  


Neil and Matt were, as Nicky called it, 'straight boy dancing,' which meant they had one hand up in the air and were jumping up and down to the beat. Nicky and Allison were next to them, doing a complicated dance routine that involved lots of snapping and turns.

"Hey!" A stranger grabbed Neil by the shoulder. Neil stopped jumping, confused, and turned to face the man. He was holding some tiny, bright purple tablet with a cartoon character on it. "You down?"

"Woah," Nicky stepped in between Neil and the stranger. "No, dude. Go away."

"Okay, if you say so," The stranger shrugged, then looked around Nicky to Neil. "Let me know if you're interested in having a good time."

Neil waited until the man walked away. "I want to have a good time," He pouted, crossing his arms. His drunk mind was processing very little.  


"You don't want an addiction to hard drugs, though," Nicky responded. He looked to Allison. "I think we should go." Allison nodded in agreement. She took a bottle of vodka with her.  


Neil and Matt leaned on each other on the way back, stumbling over one another's feet and sharing Allison's bottle. Allison walked ahead of them with Nicky, carrying her high heels and tripping very subtly every so often. Somehow, Nicky managed to get all of them back to Allison's loft without anyone eating pavement.

"The party's not over!" Allison exclaimed as soon as they set foot in her loft, throwing her arms up. Neil and Matt whooped in response.  


"Shush, Allison, it's three A.M. and you have neighbors," Nicky gently pushed Allison further into the loft. "Let's get your makeup off and get you into bed." He took her shoes, setting them by the door, then put an arm around her waist and led her towards the stairs.

Neil kicked his own shoes off and face planted onto Nicky's cot, falling asleep above the covers.


	4. andrew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone!! i know it's been a while but i have an actual plan for this fic & i really want to see it through!! thanks to everyone who's returning after a little hiatus. please heed the trigger warnings!!
> 
> tw: nightmares, drinking, referenced drug use

The first half of Neil's January was simple: Exy, party, Andrew, repeat. Neil played (and usually won) his game, went out with his friends after, then met up with Andrew in the morning. It was a flawless routine.

All the while, Neil knew that his birthday was coming. He'd resolved not to mention it, because Nicky would certainly want to have a giant party and Neil couldn't handle that type of attention. He knew that Andrew remembered it was coming up, but Andrew never said anything about it and definitely wouldn't contact Nicky about it. So Neil lived on, perfectly content with ignoring his own birthday.

Then the day came. Neil woke up to three happy birthday texts all sent at midnight from Allison, Nicky and Matt. His bed was empty; he'd had the misfortune of a Sunday night game while Andrew had a Saturday night one. It was Thursday, which meant practice for both of them in the morning. The timing of Andrew's game meant that he wouldn't be in town for Neil's birthday, which he was fine with, really. Not spending his birthday cuddled up with Andrew watching a romcom just like he envisioned didn't bother Neil, it didn't.

He brought himself out of bed, accepted a quick happy birthday call from Dan, then a text from Renee. Neil kept about his daily morning routine, getting dressed for his run, preparing cereal for breakfast, brushing his teeth. He ran his normal route, saw the same runners, took his regular shower. He left his apartment exactly on time and walked into practice a minute early.

His team had got him a cake, which was nice, but they couldn't eat it until after practice. All throughout practice, Neil tried to not dwell on the fact that he had yet to hear from Andrew. He most likely hated birthdays and didn't see the point in wishing Neil a happy one, that was all. Neil definitely didn't obsessively check his phone during breaks and he absolutely didn't want to cry during the cake consumption. He didn't feel lonely and depressed on his journey back and he totally wasn't checking his phone as he walked into his apartment.

Neil made it almost to the couch when he looked up. There was Andrew, sitting on the sofa, reading a book.

"Oh my god," Neil murmured. "Oh my god," He repeated, louder. Andrew looked up from his book. "You're here. You aren't supposed to be here. I'm not supposed to see you until next weekend."

"It's your birthday," Andrew said, as if that explained how he was getting away with skipping practice. "Yes or no?"

Neil's reply came in a fierce kiss to the lips. He saw Andrew nearly every weekend, but the sense of missing him sometimes ate him alive. Seeing Andrew a bonus time set Neil's heart into a frenzy of excitement. He kissed Andrew's lips, then his jaw, then his neck, trying to devour as much of him as possible. He awkwardly leaned over Andrew on the couch until two hands guided his hips down to Andrew's lap. One hand stayed on Neil's hip while the other journeyed up and down Neil's thigh. Neil kept one hand in Andrew's hair and the other on his shoulder, two known safe places. Neil worked at Andrew's neck until a hand lifted his chin back up to Andrew's lips. Neil kissed Andrew until his lips felt bruised, then he pulled back and shifted until he was sitting across Andrew's lap.

"How long are you staying?" Neil asked as he leaned his head on Andrew's shoulder.

"Saturday morning."

"You have practice tomorrow."

Neil could feel Andrew roll his eyes. "I can skip practice for my boyfriend's birthday." The word 'boyfriend' made Neil's heart flutter. Neither of them used it often, but the title was implied whenever they spoke about one another.

"What do you want to do?" As much as Neil wanted to spend eternity sitting in Andrew's lap, he knew that Allison would most likely force him to go out on Friday to celebrate his birthday. He also knew that Andrew wouldn't want to go.

"Reynolds has plans," Neil was surprised to hear Andrew mention her. He wouldn't have thought that they were in contact. "Dinner tonight. Some... things after."

" _Things_?" Neil repeated. With Andrew and Allison, 'things' could mean a number of activities, from movies at Allison's loft to a full-blown BDSM party in some rich guy's dungeon (okay, to be fair, Neil had never been taken to a dungeon BDSM party by either of them, nor did he think either of them were into that sort of thing, but the dangers of an unspecified activity remained). 

"Yes. Things."

*

Neil expected Allison to do something big for his birthday. He expected her to make them wear suits. He expected the most expensive restaurant in New York City. What he did  _not_  expect was a matte black Lamborghini to be sitting outside her building.

"Is that... for us?" Neil gaped as Andrew pulled a key out of his pocket. 

"You think I'd let you take the subway to your birthday dinner?" Allison scoffed, her eyes focused on the car. She seemed as in awe of it as the rest of them.

Andrew opened the suicide doors and Matt practically shuddered. "This is the most beautiful car I've ever seen." 

"Eh," Allison shrugged. "I guess it's up there."

"Okay, Richie Rich," Nicky rolled his eyes. "Let's get a move on."

Andrew drove, Neil was in the passenger's seat, and the other three squished themselves in the back. Nicky insisted that they listen to his playlist, forcing the entire car to be subject to Nicki Minaj for the ride.

"Cardi's better," Matt huffed as he rolled his eyes. Nicky audibly gasped.

"She's problematic now, Matt," Allison explained simply. Matt opened his mouth as if he had something to say, then decided against it. 

There was no more conversation after that, just Nicky hanging out the window screaming Nicki Minaj lyrics. Neil was ashamed that he knew all the words and even more ashamed that he couldn't help but sing along. Andrew sent him a confused look once he began, but nothing more after that.

Allison really  _had_  picked the nicest restaurant in New York City. It was so dimly lit that Neil struggled to see anything, but the gold carpeting was clear. There was a single candle at the center of each table, which illuminated not much more than the plates and cutlery. Nevertheless, there were rows upon rows of candles, spreading out across what had to have been a massive dining room. Their hostess brought them to what Neil had thought was a wall, but was actually just a separation between the main dining room and a smaller, private area. There was just one circular table with five gold chairs around it. The candle was replaced with a centerpiece made of roses covered in gold, the lighting supplemented by a chandelier. 

There was a brief squabble over who would sit where. Andrew, of course, would sit on one side of Neil, but the other side of him was up for grabs. Ultimately, Nicky seemed to realize his unspoken obligation to sit next to Andrew as he seemed to be the one he hated the least, and Matt convinced Allison that she'd had enough Neil Time before he'd come to New York.

Allison ordered wine for the table. They were served an artisan cheese platter on a golden tray-- Neil was sensing a theme-- for an appetizer.

"Allison," Nicky picked up a chunk of cheese. "You take us to the nicest restaurant in New York and they serve us  _cheese_?"

"Shut up," Allison picked up the small knife on the tray and cut herself a piece of cheese. "It's artisan. And French."

"And  _just_  cheese." Matt snickered.

Allison rolled her eyes. "I am so, so sorry that none of you have any taste. Really, my apologies."

Andrew, by far, ate the most cheese out of all of them. 

"You're going to spoil your dinner," Neil sang, only half sarcastically.

"You underestimate me," Andrew responded, dropping another slice onto his plate.

When the menus came, Neil was delighted to see that it was entirely in French. He knew that Allison remembered a little French from her schooling, but other than that, he was the only one who could read it.

"What the fuck is paté de fois gras?" Andrew mumbled, grossly mispronouncing every word.

"Duck liver," Neil didn't respond to Andrew's fake gagging. 

"Do they have, like, chicken?" Nicky asked as he stared at the menu in confusion.

"Yeah,  _poulet_."

"Fuck you, Josten, I knew that one." Neil winked at Allison. They'd engaged in a competition to see who could translate most of the menu, and Neil was winning by a landslide.

In the end, Allison ordered duck, Nicky ordered chicken, Matt and Andrew ordered fish, and Neil ordered lobster. The serving sizes were tiny, but Neil figured that came with the status. Their conversation over dinner was on Neil's favorite and Andrew's least favorite topic: Exy. They reminisced on their college years, mostly the ones where Neil wasn't kidnapped or tortured. Neil absolutely missed the Foxes at times and had moments where he wished he could go back to them. However, he loved not being in college, loved going out with Allison, Nicky and Matt, loved not having to share a room. It was just nice for him to be in a place where he could look back at old memories fondly, without fear.

As they left the restaurant, Andrew stuck suspiciously close to Neil. They held hands as they walked out onto the street. Neil was so distracted by Andrew's uncharacteristic public display of affection that he didn't notice that Andrew was leading him toward  _yet another_  sports car: a bright red Ferrari.

"Wait," Neil stopped just in front of the Ferrari. Nicky, Allison and Matt had stopped at the door of the restaurant.

"It's a two-seater," Andrew whispered in Neil's ear before walking around to the driver's side. Neil glanced back at Nicky, Allison and Matt, who were watching them closely.

"Go!" Allison mouthed to him, waving her hands toward the car. Neil mouthed a thank you, then got into the car.

It didn't take Neil long to realize Andrew wasn't taking him back to his apartment. "Where are we going?"

Andrew reached over and placed his hand on Neil's thigh. "You'll see."

Andrew took Neil to a hotel near the beach. He led Neil inside, checked in, then took him to a room on the eighth floor.

"Before we go in," Andrew stood in front of the red door. "Know that Allison picked out all of this."

"Okay," Neil replied skeptically. Andrew opened the door and went inside.

The kitchen and living area was fine, causing Neil to wonder why Andrew pointed out Allison's involvement. Once he saw the bedroom, he understood.

The bedroom's primary source of lighting was a red sign that read  _amore_  in cursive, causing everything in the room to have a soft maroon hue. The bed was immense, covered with pristine white sheets and scattered rose petals. Bottles of alcohol stood on the dresser, along with an entire bowl of assorted condoms.

"She made some assumptions," Neil snorted, eyeing the condom bowl.

"Were they correct?" Andrew came up behind Neil and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Hmm," Neil faked consideration. "I think so."

Andrew ignored Neil's joke. "Yes or no?" He whispered against Neil's neck, sending a shiver down his spine. 

Neil's eyes fluttered closed. "Yes."

Andrew gently pushed Neil forward until he turned and sat on the bed. Andrew took a moment to admire him in the red light, before placing his knees on either side of his hips and kissing him. They kissed for a moment, deep and slow, unlike their usual fast-paced wanting. Andrew pulled back, taking off his jacket, and Neil did the same. Andrew led Neil's shoulders to the mattress, then started unbuttoning Neil's shirt. 

"Still yes?" Andrew asked as he slid the last button out of its buttonhole. 

"Yes," Neil whispered back.

Andrew helped Neil sit up enough to get the button-up off him, then pulled his own shirt over his head. They kissed more, Neil lying on the bed and Andrew sitting on his hips.

Andrew moved down to kiss along Neil's jaw. "Anywhere. I don't care. Touch me anywhere." 

Neil touched Andrew  _everywhere_. He couldn't get enough. He touched Andrew's hair, his cheeks, his legs, his stomach, his shoulders, his everything. When he was done, it still didn't feel like enough.

They finished with Neil sitting in Andrew's lap, their sweat-slicked foreheads pressed together. All the while Neil had felt a three word phrase sitting heavily on his tongue. He'd only said it when he was drunk, but now the words were so close to slipping out of his mouth that Neil didn't dare open it. He wanted to spend eternity in this post-coital haze, with a pair of warm hands on his hips and a feeling of completeness in his heart. Forever was a strong, dangerous word, one that was attached to those three little words. Neil couldn't-- wouldn't-- use it on Andrew for fear of cracking this fragile balance between them. He'd rather dream of forever and attempt wish it into existence than confess that he knew it was right there beneath him.

"Let me run a bath," Andrew's voice jarred Neil from his thoughts. He rolled off Andrew, laying back onto the bed.

Neil fought the sleep in his eyes, focusing on the ceiling above him. It was plain white, but the color was altered by the lighting. He looked at his own hand, also turned red. He wondered what his already red hair looked like, but couldn't find the energy to get up and look in the mirror. 

Neil hadn't noticed the sound of the water turning on, but he caught the sound of it turning off. He brought himself out of the bed and into the bathroom, where Andrew was sitting on the ledge of the tub. He had put something in the water to turn it a creamy light blue and sprinkled rose petals on top. Neil had absolutely no doubt that these were Allison's suggestions (demands).

"I'm surprised you went along with all of Allison's plans," Neil came into the bathroom and joined Andrew on the ledge of the tub. Andrew only grunted in reply.

Neil ended up between Andrew's legs in the bath, his back pressed against the other man's chest. He was slouched down so that his head came to just below Andrew's chin. He could feel Andrew's breath ghosting over his hair in rhythm with his chest rising and falling.

Andrew was tracing Neil's knuckles with his finger. "Did you have a nice birthday?" 

Neil hummed. "After you got here, yes."

They remained in silence for a while, Neil so relaxed and comfortable that he nearly fell asleep. It was the heat of Andrew's body that kept him awake.

"Are you going to fall asleep?" Andrew asked, having noticed the slow drooping of Neil's head.

Neil picked his head back up and rested it on Andrew's shoulder. "Nope."

"Mhm."

Neil did fall asleep, and let himself continue to sleep through the feeling of Andrew picking him up and setting him down in the bed. He fell asleep naked, still a little wet, and wrapped up in Andrew's arms.

*

Neil felt like he was suffocating. He could feel his heart beating in his ears. His father was sitting on his chest, holding him down, a hand clamped over his mouth. The man was so heavy that Neil couldn't draw in a breath. He thrashed around and tried to squirm out of Nathan's grasp, but his arms and legs barely moved. Feeling himself beginning to choke, he desperately fought for breath. With a shuddering realization, Neil submitted to the fact that he was going to die.

Suddenly, he was falling.

" _Abram_!"

He woke up on the hotel carpet, Andrew standing in front of him. 

"I--" Neil was panting, relishing in the fact that he was able to breathe. He stood, stumbled past Andrew, and grabbed one of the bottles of liquor from the dresser.

"Neil," Andrew said sternly. Neil took a gulp of whatever he had grabbed, the stinging feeling as it slid down his throat reminded him that he was in reality. "Talk to me."

Neil tried to slow his breathing so that he could get a word out. "My father... he was on top of me, and my chest was all tight, and I couldn't breathe..." He took another drink.

Even in the darkness, he could see Andrew's face fall. Neil remembered how he had fallen asleep tightly held in Andrew's arms.

"Andrew, it's not--"

"Stop," Andrew barked. "Don't say anything. Put that down and go to bed."

Neil had forgotten he was holding the bottle. He glanced at it, trying to read what it was.

"Put. It. Down," Andrew commanded. Neil complied, then crawled back into the bed.

They fell asleep on opposite sides of the mattress.

*

Neil woke up to an empty bed and the smell of food. He stumbled out of the bedroom, shaking the sleep from his eyes. Andrew was in the kitchen, a full breakfast spread on the table.

"You cooked?" Neil asked as he slumped into a chair.

"Room service," Andrew corrected. He was sitting across from Neil, eyeing him suspiciously. 

"Ah," Neil should've known that Andrew wouldn't cook if he didn't absolutely have to. He began to pile eggs, bacon and toast onto his plate.

"I'm coming out with you tonight," Andrew spoke suddenly, causing Neil to freeze. "Allison's taking you out for your birthday. I'm coming with you."

Andrew had never shown any sort of interest in what Neil got up to with his friends. If anything, he disapproved of Neil's going out. Why the man had decided now to join them, he didn't know.

"Is there a particular reason?"

"No," Andrew said it in a way that told Neil there definitely was.

"Okay."

They ate their breakfast in silence.

* 

The ride back to Neil's apartment was short but disgustingly awkward. Andrew refrained from speaking as much as possible, and Neil couldn't think of anything to say. He knew that Andrew was upset about what had happened the night prior, but he didn't know how to console him about it. Andrew shut himself off in these situations, so there was no use attempting to discuss their emotions.

Once back at his apartment, Neil took a call from Allison.

"Soo..." Allison sang. "How was last night?"

Neil rolled his eyes and stepped into another room, out of Andrew's earshot. "It was nice. Thank you, for everything."

"Anything for you, babe. And don't get too relaxed, I have more planned for this evening." This Neil had seen coming, he would expect nothing less from Allison.

"Send me a time and place and I'll be there," Neil purposefully didn't mention that Andrew would be there, too.

"Will do. See you later, love."

"Bye, Allison."

*

Neil had expected Andrew to resist all the way to Allison's doorstep, but instead, he was met with peaceful compliance. Andrew got dressed without saying a word and was ready to walk out the door even before Neil. They went to Allison's in silence, a small pool of dread forming in Neil's stomach. Andrew had never been out with them before, and Neil didn't know what to expect.

"Oh," Allison seemed surprised to see Andrew when she opened the door. "Hi, Andrew!" 

Andrew didn't respond to Allison's greeting. "I'm the designated driver tonight," He announced, then pushed past her into the apartment.

Allison gave Neil a concerned look. "What's up?"

Neil sighed. "He's been weird since last night." He considered if he should elaborate or not, then reminded himself that Allison was a friend. "I fell asleep in his arms and had a dream that my father was holding me down."

Allison looked mortified. "Jesus, Neil, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," Neil glanced past her to see Andrew talking with Nicky inside. "Let's just get going."

In true Allison fashion, they took the Lamborghini from the night prior to Motion. They waltzed up to Javier, who let them right in, like every night.

Once inside, Neil immediately noticed the giant 'Happy Birthday, Neil!' banner across the VIP section. The tables were full of cupcakes and drinks. Streamers ran from one end of the ceiling to the other.

"Allison," Neil looked around in disbelief. "You didn't have to do all this."

"Of course I did!" Allison gently pushed Neil toward the drinks. "Go have fun!"

Everyone around him seemed to know that he was the birthday kid. He was handed drink after drink by strangers, all of whom got the death stare from Andrew. One man even offered to let Neil do a body shot off of him, and Neil had to physically hold Andrew back. When he began to feel the light buzz of alcohol in his system, he asked the group if they wanted to dance.

Matt and Neil partook in their 'straight boy dancing' whenever an EDM song came on, he moved to singing obnoxiously with Nicky when a classic 2000's song played, and he let Allison mock grind on him whenever a disgusting straight couple encroached on their space. All the while, Andrew was a constant behind him, never touching him, but making his presence known.

Feeling adequately drunk, Neil spun around to face Andrew. "I love you!" He shouted over the music.

"You're drunk," Andrew replied, barely loud enough for Neil to hear.

"No! I mean, yeah," Neil took a moment to gather his thoughts. "I mean I love you even when I'm not drunk!"

Neil could see Andrew roll his eyes through flashes of strobe lights. "Go back to dancing."

"Dance with me!" Neil whined, but even his drunk brain knew that was a long shot.

Andrew shook his head. "I'm going to try to locate Nicky," Neil hadn't even noticed that Nicky had slipped away. "Stay with Allison." He disappeared into the crowd.

Neil looked around for Allison, but she had somehow vanished.

"I'll dance with you!" It was the guy that had offered him the pill on New Year's, standing a little too close for comfort.

"No, thanks!" Neil replied, but the man didn't seem to hear him over the music. He grabbed Neil's waist and pulled him close, then started to grind on him. 

"My name's Jackson, what's yours?" The man spoke into his ear, but Neil was too busy looking around for Andrew. "Hey!" Jackson tightened his grip on Neil's waist. "I said, what's your name?"

Neil was beginning to feel seriously intoxicated. "Neil," He responded, trying in vain to loosen the man's hold on him.

"Here, Neil," Jackson took out another one of the pills he had offered Neil previously. "Let's have a good time."

Neil felt too confused to resist Jackson's hand coming up to his mouth.

"Get the fuck off him!" It was Matt, swinging in like an angel. He took Neil's arm and ripped him away from Jackson.

"Chill out, man!" Jackson threw his hands up, dropping the pill to the ground. He huffed and marched off in the opposite direction.

Neil could see Allison fighting her way through people to get to them. "What happened?" She asked once she reached them.

"Andrew and Nicky are in the bathroom, we need to go," Matt slung Neil's arm around his neck. Neil was grateful for that, he knew he couldn't walk on his own.

Matt dragged Neil to the men's bathroom, Allison following closely behind. Andrew was standing outside a stall while someone gagged into the toilet.

"What happened?" Andrew took Neil from Matt.

"Some weirdo was getting on Neil," Matt explained. He peeked into the stall. "Is Nicky okay?"

"I'm good," Nicky replied, his voice echoing off the toilet bowl. 

Instead of going to kill the man, like Neil expected, Andrew tilted Neil's chin towards his face. "Abram. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Neil slurred.

"Let's go."

Matt pulled Nicky up from the ground and slung his arm over his shoulders. Allison took his other arm.

Neil barely remembered his stumbling walk to the car, just Andrew dumping him in the passenger's seat.

"I have to leave tonight, I have a game in the morning," Andrew was talking to Allison. "Take care of him."

"We will." Allison promised.


End file.
